The Problem with Emotion and Great Decisions

Some days it seems I'm surrounded by people with a definite gift for persuasion. My brother, for instance, excels in sales, operating a highly successful company as the exclusive importer of Colombian chocolate for North America. 

My daughter frequently demonstrates the enthusiasm of a revival evangelist for any number of important issues—diet, fitness, fashion, housing and home decor. I've succumbed to her influence on any number of occasions purely as a result of her persistence. When it comes to expressing her convictions, she's definitely queen of the moment, utilizing short-term emotion to its greatest advantage. I confess to frequently caving to her opinion or perspective—often with good results, but not always. 

I think our daughter learned her persuasive skills from one of the most not-to-be-denied people I know, her dad, AKA my "Main Man." If it weren't for his ability to influence me (and others) I’m certain my life would have bordered on monotonous and mundane. Thanks to people like my husband and daughter this is never going to happen, unless of course, I learn how to make decisions with less coercion from short-term emotion.

For instance, I recall one particularly memorable occasion several years ago, when Main Man convinced me to try leaping over a small stream during a hiking excursion in a remote part of the Lakes District in northern England. I was afraid I couldn't manage the jump, but he continued to insist I try it.

"It's easy," he claimed, demonstrating with his long legs and easy stride how simple it would be for me to cross the stream rushing down the mountain side.

"I don't think I can," I objected, but he continued to insist I try.

Capitulating to the power of his persistent encouragement, I eventually took the leap he suggested, slipped on a wet rock and landed in the stream bed with water up to my armpits. I couldn't have been any wetter unless I had jumped in head first. In spite of the fact the temperature was hovering in the low 60s when I took the plunge and the rain continued to drizzle from the skies for the remainder of the day, I had little concern about hypothermia. The heat escaping from my body as I tramped ahead of him for the next two hours was more than enough to keep me warm—especially when I discovered he had eaten the last of the chocolate.

So what is it about these “sales” people that allows them to be so compelling? Of course, they might tell you it’s because they’re right, but I would suggest it’s more related to their ability to play on short-term emotion coupled with our tendency to "think with our gut" more than we should when making a decision.

Not convinced? Ever purchased something you didn’t really want at a home-based party hosted by a friend? Do you dread shopping for a new car because you fear pressure from a salesperson? Have you given into a cherubic child peddling peanut brittle at your door? That’s the impact of short-term emotion. 

Allowing emotion to rule for a peanut brittle purchase might not be much of a problem, but for really big decisions (work, life partner, investments, neighborhood, etc.) trusting your gut may be a very poor choice because fleeting emotions tempt us to make poor long-term decisions. To make better decisions we need to allow ourselves some time and distance. Next week I’ll talk about some strategies from Decisive that can help us do that better.

Dr. Jennifer Baker