Things that Matter

Take the Long-Term View

Dear Mom and Dad,
For my letter writing experience this week I am going to write to you and state some goals that I would like to complete before graduating from High School. I have seen what results my younger sibling has reeped (sic) from her letter writing campains (sic).

As you read this, Dad, I don't want you to laugh. I believe these all to be very important. To start off my list I believe I should start with my school life. I have listed below my acedemic (sic) goals in order of importance.

     1) Get and maintain a 3.0 GPA.
     2) Visit as many collages (sic) as possible.
     3)  Locate a Christian Collage (sic) in mountains and visit, (as many as possible.)

The next category (sic) in order of importance to me is recreation.

     1) Christmas vactadion (sic) in Breckenridge.
     2) Visit Al-Lo farm more than one time this year.

Job employment and financial (sic) materins (sic).

     1) Work at True Value for more than 6 months.
     2) Work for Grandpa at least one (month).
     3) Command my own hay hauling crew again.

. . . . Dad, if your (sic) not laughing by now I will be very surprised (sic). I know that you love me, even if you don't treat me the way I want.    Love, Andrew

Letter Writing Lessons
I recently found the letter above in a file I had labeled "Special Letters." It was written by our son when he was sixteen and I was trying to help him improve his skills of written expression. I always thought he was creative, clever and more than able to express himself verbally, but when it came to getting his thoughts on paper he struggled. So, for a number of summers I required that he write at least one letter a week. Often he wrote them to his grandparents, but occasionally he wrote them to us. The above is one such example. As you can see, the spelling leaves something to be desired and the punctuation is a bit sketchy as well. It is, however, one of my treasured possessions--especially now that I look back and see all that he has become.

I read this letter to Andrew recently when we were visiting over the phone and we both had a good laugh. It is with his permission that I share it now. I remember the days when I wondered if he would ever apply himself to his school work. I was frustrated when he failed to turn in his homework or turned it in late. It made me crazy that he could remember the script of a movie word for word, but was on the verge of failing Spanish. I was angry with his English teacher who acted as though he had little ability as all, when I knew he could do much better if only he had some encouragement and inspiration. I ached for him when he struggled to get his thoughts--clever, funny thoughts--on paper because spelling was such a struggle.  In short, I did what many mothers do . . . I wondered if this kid would make it. I wondered if he would be alright when he left home for college--assuming he made it into a college. I wondered if he would give up on himself and settle for second best when I knew he had so much to give.

Mother's Day is coming soon and I suspect many mothers today have the same concerns. In fact, I recently read a new children's book, On A Beam of Light by Jennifer Berne, that led me to believe Albert Einstein's mother may have had similar worries. Apparently Albert didn't talk at all until sometime after his third birthday. He was an unusual little boy, but according to the book, "His parents worried. Little Albert was so different . . . But he was their baby, so they loved him . . . no matter what."

I think that's the encouragement I'd like to give to moms this week as we approach Mother's Day 2013. Don't give up too soon. Keep working with your kids. Take the long-term view. Whether you find yourself in the throes of toddler tantrums or the angst of adolescent drama, the end of the story has not been written. Take the long-term view.

As for our son's writing skills, those have come a long way. He earned a bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in Educational Administration. Today he is an assistant principal at a large elementary school in Round Rock, Texas. 

But better yet is the fact that when he has time, he actually writes for fun. A year or so ago he called to let me know he had written some award winning articles for a blog about bicycling in Austin, Texas and gotten paid for his efforts.

Given the early writing samples I had from him, there's nothing better this mother could hear . . . except, of course, that he's planning to teach his boys to write as well. Of course, their mother will probably be involved with that too.

Encouraging all mothers to hang in there for the long run,

Dr. Jennifer Baker