Things that Matter

Spring Cleaning Inside and Out

The weatherman said it could snow on Monday, so hedging our bets against the promise of rain later in the day, my main squeeze and I decided to do a bit of garden work early Saturday morning. It’s that time of year when we can’t yet plant anything for fear of a late frost, but we still want to tidy up the grounds so that our bulbs and perennials are shown to their best advantage, and the soil is ready for planting annuals a few weeks hence.

Basically, we’re doing “spring cleaning” outside, but this past week I also noticed some cleaning that needed to be done inside as well, e.g., an over-stuffed closet or two I’ve just been shutting the door on for some time now, as opposed to dealing with the mess therein.

As we were working away in the backyard, it occurred to me that there are a number of parallels between the advantages of an annual spring cleaning in one’s garden and home to an annual examination of one’s thoughts, emotions and relationships.

I recently read The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone—Especially Ourselves by Dan Ariely, that caused me to think about the importance of an “internal cleaning” or self-examination as well.

Most of us like to think of ourselves as honest people, but it turns out that we’re often much more dishonest with ourselves and others than we imagine. In fact, the human tendency, as confirmed by numerous research studies, is to cheat just a little.

According to Ariely,  we seem to believe that “ . . . as long as we cheat by only a little bit, we can benefit from cheating and still view ourselves as marvelous human beings.”  The problem is that cheating a little (which most of us do) leads to cheating a lot for some. For instance, studies suggest those who embezzle start out by only removing a small amount of money they intend to pay back. Sadly, one undetected amount easily leads to another.

The money is not returned. Reasons for taking are rationalized. Only hundreds, thousands or millions of dollars later, does the offense come to light causing people to wonder how someone they thought they knew and trusted could have deceived them for such a long time.

A similar dynamic occurs with cheating in marriage. The initial flirting seems harmless and fun, but the consequences of stepping across one small boundary after another can be devastating. In my experience, few people set out to have an affair. Only weeks, months and even years later after layer upon layer of lies, is the awful truth revealed. When I’ve asked, “How did you give yourself permission to do something like this? Something you find so loathsome,” the answer is often, “I don’t know.” Because we are so often less-than-truthful with ourselves, we have a hard time seeing the danger of our choices. Perhaps we would do well to devote ourselves to a “personal spring cleaning” at least once or twice a year—or as those in Alcoholics Anonymous would say, “a searching and fearless moral inventory.”  If we did, maybe we could avoid some of the heartache we bring upon ourselves and others.

What might we discover with an annual “personal spring cleaning” or “soul-searching inventory?” We’d likely discover “weeds” or problems like this thistle. Left to grow on their own, thistles become a thorny mass, up to 10 feet in height, difficult to remove.

Early on, though, they’re identifiable, but small. In the moist soil of early spring, this one was easily removed from our yard before its sharp thorns pierced my skin or someone I care about.

The time has come to clean up the garden, air out the house, tidy up the closets, and sort through items to be donated or discarded. It also seems to be a good time to look “inside” as well, at the heart issues that might be standing in the way of a joyful living and more loving relationships. I hope you’ll accept the invitation to clean along with me.