Forgetting Something Good?
When I saw the Orchard Oriole at the bird feeder a few days ago I almost thought it was a robin, except it didn't look quite right -- head and back too dark, body too rust-colored. "What is that? I wondered. And then I asked my Main Man, "Did you see that bird?"
"It's not a robin," he replied. "Robins don't come to the bird feeder. They're carnivorous. They prefer worms."
Turning to our trusty Peterson Field Guide: Eastern Birds, I thumbed through the pages in search of a robin-like bird that wasn't a robin.
There I was happy to find an artist's rendition of a bird resembling the one I had seen on a page entitled "Orioles." I was surprised because the only orioles I have ever seen were a brilliant orange. Apparently the orange kind are known as Northern or "Baltimore" Orioles.
But perhaps even more surprising was a picture of a female Orchard Oriole. Rather than appearing as a duller version of her male counterpart (think female Cardinal), the female Orchard Oriole is a different color with completely different markings.
It was only then I realized I had seen the female orchard oriole at the bird feeder near our kitchen window at least a couple of times in the past week. I just thought she was an American Goldfinch.
True, goldfinches are considerably smaller, a brighter yellow and I've never seen one at our feeders, but because the two are similar in color, I thought they were one and the same.
Orioles migrate north in the spring and lucky birdwatchers can sometimes catch a glimpse of them at their birdfeeders during a brief period of time in April. I knew about migrating orioles; I just missed identifying the Orchard Oriole because I was expecting something different. This got me wondering about other things I might be missing as well.
For instance, last Friday I noticed we had jalapeno potato chips for the mid-afternoon break associated with an all-day training I was conducting. What's the connection? Only that our Office Manager, who made all the arrangements for the food that day, knows my favorite chips are the jalapeno ones. I don't allow myself to indulge in this guilty pleasure too often, but when I do--that's the kind I prefer.
When the day is long, when the work is piled high, and when the email stream multiplies by the minute, she seems to know and the jalapeno chips appear. The problem is that in the midst of my mayhem, it's easy to overlook this simple act of kindness and encouragement as insignificant. It occurs to me that I need to tell her I noticed and express my appreciation for this simple act of care and concern.
It's easy to get so caught up in our own drama and difficulties that we overlook, minimize or "forget something good". This must be especially easy in close or intimate relationships because the workbooks we use for "Hitched & Happy" actually have two pages with very small print devoted to lists of positive and affirming things our partner may be doing for us--things we are likely to overlook.
- Partner balanced the checkbook.
- Partner paid the bills on time.
- Partner shopped for groceries.
- Partner took the car in for routine maintenance.
- Partner helped feed the children.
- Partner taxied kids to their activities.
- Partner helped resolve an argument between the kids.
- Partner turned off the lights, turned down the heat, etc.
- Partner attended a family event with me.
There's a lot to think about with Spring cleaning, but one thing I don't want to forget is noticing all the good going on around me.
- Smiling faces of friends
- Dedicated coworkers and staff
- The love of my Main Man
In pursuit of good things,
Dr. Jennifer Baker
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