Wellness Means a Healthy Body and Healthy Relationships

Eat less. 

Move more. 

Reduce your stress 

Quit smoking. 

These four are typically the primary focus of most wellness programs. They’re all worthy goals, but insufficient to bring about health alone. It’s possible to have a low body mass index, manageable stress, be smoke-free, have a reasonably healthy diet and exercise regimen and still be unhealthy.  

According to the World Health Organization, health is defined as, “a complete state of physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease.” In other words, it takes more than a healthy body. It also requires a healthy mind and good relationships.



When employers institute wellness programs, hoping to improve their company’s bottom line with employees who need to access their healthcare benefits less often, I wonder if they are also aware that 30% of sick time is due to family conflict. This may be marital conflict, but it can also be related to dealing with a rebellious teen, navigating family tension involved with divorce, or family conflict associated with caring for an aging parent. These sorts of relational issues undercut the company’s bottom line, increase fellow employees’ workloads, and may increase personnel issues. In fact, lost work time associated with marital problems alone is estimated at $6.8 billion per year.

Healthy relationships, especially healthy, long-term committed relationships often known as marriage, bring about the best benefits for children as well. In a very large study from the Centers for Disease Control, “Family Structure and Children’s Health in the United States: Findings From the National Health Interview Survey, 2001–2007,” children in nuclear families did better on nearly every measure as compared to children living in any other family arrangement. In short, they were physically, mentally, cognitively and socially healthier.

Do I think see marriage as the solution to every problem? Absolutely not! Some marriages and relationships are dangerous. Am I so naïve as to believe everyone who desires marriage can attain this goal? Nope. I also know people who would like to marry, but probably never will. Do I see single parents as somehow sub-standard?  Emphatically not! I think single-parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and am privileged to have known and be friends with a number who do a terrific job.

What I can’t get away from is the data. If you want research, I can bury you in papers and studies from some of our nation’s most prestigious institutions. If you would to talk to experts, I can introduce you to folks at both ends of the political spectrum who agree that we need to do more to support healthy relationships. There’s simply so much statistical evidence about the importance of healthy, stable, committed relationships to child well-being that it’s hard to deny.

We need fathers more engaged with their children. They clearly have more access when married to the mother of those children, but when this is not possible a healthy co-parenting relationship is preferred. We need more parents prepared to form and maintain a stable relationship for the benefit of their new baby. We need more support for people as they navigate the typical transitions associated with family life – becoming a couple or family, pregnancy and childbirth, rearing young children, making the transition to adolescence, dealing with mid-life issues and caring for aging parents. A healthy body will help one cope better with these sorts of concerns, but offering parenting and relationship education as part of a wellness program may also be a very cost effective strategy.

"Wellness Means a Healthy Body and Healthy Relationships" appeared in the Springfield News-Leader on Wednesday, July 30, 2014.